Building the Mental Health Toolbox

Building the Mental Health Toolbox

As with all tasks, having the proper tools empowers one to be prepared, knowledgeable and ultimately successful. When thinking of mental health and developing one's sense of well-being there is no difference. Building a Mental Health Toolbox is essential to the positive evolution of one's mental health overall. If we all adapt this mindset, then we're all under construction. So grab your hardhat and let's get busy! 

Understand the diagnostic label

Whether it’s a therapist, a close friend or even your own research that finally attributes your troubles to a mental illness or disorder of sorts, it can be a challenge to integrate the diagnostic label as a part of your existence. Although many find relief in finally understanding why a happy life has been so hard to come by, accepting the new label may be as difficult as adjusting to a third arm or sixth toe. And that’s okay. That extension of your persona has likely been in existence for a large part of your life. A new name for a characteristic of your psyche doesn’t make you less of a human and most certainly doesn’t define you. A diagnostic label is meant to classify you by a set of observable traits to determine the treatment most suitable for you. But in no way is this meant to segregate all clients with one label as the exact same – each person is an individual with specific challenges, experiences and varying degrees of these traits. Every client living with anxiety, PTSD or depression is unique beyond the diagnostic label used in doctor and insurance offices across the country and its important that they are treated as such.

By embracing your label, you take the first step in acceptance of who you are, a key element of the self-love necessary to evolve. There is a possibility that you, or those close to you have subconsciously adopted a stereotype of certain labels, and working through the stigma can also sometimes be a part of learning how to utilize your mental health toolbox. Imagine yourself without the label and any of the characteristics that may have come of it. Would you be as strong of a person? Would your emotional intuition be as fine-tuned? Would your resilience be as elastic? Though you may feel that your label contributed to unpleasant experiences and traits, the silver lining is that you had several opportunities to develop important survival skills in the process. Now that you’ve arrived at the phase of your life to want to evolve from your mental problems, your subsequent emotional intelligence continues to stick around to catapult you through life’s never-ending challenges. Love yourself and embrace your label, because as troublesome as it’s been in the past, it has made you beautifully strong enough to take on this evolution.

Maintaining physical well-being

The body can act as a remote control for the mind with buttons for relaxation, mood boost, patience, energy and the list goes on, as both are directly linked. To maintain the well-being of your body is to ensure a balanced foundation for the mind to solve life’s challenges. Efforts into continuous well-being automatically propel the mind’s evolution, clarity and awareness, so it’s well worth the daily undertaking.

Sleep

A set bedtime with plenty of hours to sleep can begin the habitual process of physical well-being. Everyone’s needs for adequate rest vary, but 6-8 hours should be the daily minimum to ensure physical and mental health fitness. A good night’s rest goes beyond feeling refreshed in the morning, with benefits building up in your heart, weight and of course your mind. During those hours of shut-eye your brain is also working to remove mental waste, like the toxic byproducts that contribute to degenerative brain disorders. It’s also working hard to cement memories and new skills you may have learned (like learning to battle anxiety!) Refreshing rest also contributes to better emotional regulation, an essential within the Mental Health Toolbox.

Cognition, attention and decision-making is enhanced with the right amount of zzz’s, making life that much less challenging just by closing your eyes every night. Loving yourself means loving your body, and that can be as easy as cuddling up under your covers and drifting to dreamland. There is empowerment in pillows when it comes to evolution!

Healthy Nutrition

Once you’ve absorbed a solid amount of rest and the sun has begun tickling your skin with its first rays of Vitamin D, nourishment should be the next priority to feed the body, as it’s likely been more than 8 hours since your last meal! Regenerating with the right nutrition is just as important as rest, and making time for eating right impacts your energy and mood for the day. Taking a little bit of time each day to understand your body and adopting healthy eating habits adds another strengthening layer of physical well-being. A good rule of thumb is to remember that the Earth herself provides many of the nutrients you need to feel optimal, so it’s easier to differentiate from the processed, sugary, greasy weaknesses that slow your body’s flow.

Exercise and physical activity

Another essential tool in the Mental Health Toolbox is exercise. The daily challenges of stress can be immediately combated with weapons of feel-good hormones. These are generated with the physical demands of exercise, and it doesn’t take an expensive personal trainer to get the job done. If your life is too busy and working out is an intimidating schedule shift, take a step back and identify areas in your daily tasks that can easily convert into a mini cheat exercise. Something as simple as opting for the stairs at your office building, or a nice 15-minute stroll during lunch can make the difference in your brain boosting chemicals. Even squeezing in 10 squats in the bathroom stall every time you make a run to the loo can get the blood going. A 30, 15 or even 10-minute commitment to muscle movement beats hours-long mental drains that affect your mood, productivity and sense of well-being.

Life Balance

Understand that your mind and body are one, and the two constantly communicate to ensure optimal existence. The key is to learn the language of your physical self to establish ongoing well-being. Become aware and listen internally. One of the most effective tools in your toolbox is developing a healthy sense of balance in all areas of your life. The Wheel of Life is a great place to start!!

Healthy lifestyle choices

When making the conscious decision to prioritize mental health, what is your motivation? Taking a holistic approach to a mental evolution? Reducing your depression or anxiety? Feeling like life is worth living? Better relationships with your loved ones? Maintaining employment? The get-up-and-go reasoning varies, but it’s important to keep a list of your reasons in constant visibility to serve as a reminder in making healthy lifestyle choices daily. Your lifestyle choices are those that you make determining your life and behavior, with a direct association to your preferences and values. Your motivation to prioritize your mental health is a strong indicator of your values.

To make the right choices, you must take a step back and determine first the areas in which you recognize your self-love practices. Are you sleeping enough and eating well? Is your monthly gym membership going to good use and are the dog leashes constantly missing from their wall hooks? Then think to yourself, in which areas can your lifestyle decisions improve to better align with your values and motivation for improving your mental health? Here’s a quick quiz to get you thinking and reflecting on your lifestyle choices.

Once you see your results, an easy start to making better lifestyle choices is to make a list of the obvious not-so-great choices. Things like drinking excessively, eating fast food multiple times a day or going through a pack of cigarettes in 48 hours. You’ll find that integrating better habits like exercise and good rest make the removal of the bad list much easier, all while boosting your mood, health and progress toward a better lifestyle! Even more eye opening, as your bad list habits fade, so do your chances of chronic diseases like obesity, heart disease, cancer and many other conditions. That life balance that you’ve begun to work on will be an incredibly important tool within your Mental Health Toolbox.

A good way to structure your mental health maintenance is by relying on daily routines to keep these lifestyle choices in check. Aside from reinforcing good habits, they give you a sense of control that gradually makes these choices automatic. Just as your bad habits once required no effort, your new, healthy habits will become second nature! This further ensures longer bouts of mental stability refined and ready to tackle obstacles that perhaps once debilitated you.

Remember that learning to utilize the tools within your Mental Health Toolbox is a gradual process and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed but just don’t quit! Starting small is okay! Thankfully, good habits get stronger with each repetition, while the bad ones shrivel away with each neglected urge. Here are a few tricks to overcoming the challenges that sometimes come with learning new skills and retraining your brain.

Yoga

Science and personal experience can reinforce your faith in exercise, but one particular activity has begun to make a name for itself in the realm of mental health. Yoga, an ancient Indian practice integrating breathing techniques and postures has been associated with improved health and happiness. The practice promotes health throughout the body while reinforcing self-awareness, two of the most important tools in your Mental Health Toolbox for self-care.

Yoga is to the mind what cardio is to the body. From a mental health standpoint, yoga trains the brain circuits involved in stress response. Most people respond to stress with adrenaline and/or cortisol in the blood, which in turn create the rapid heartbeat, breath and other nervous system symptoms that we feel during stress. In a person who practices yoga regularly, the relaxation signal in the brain can be turned on by engaging in a pose to slow or even stop the stress response. This tool can then be used to counter stress on demand when combined with awareness, which is bolstered with the regular breathing and meditation techniques learned in yoga.

Regular yoga practice is a self-soothing ritual that promotes an ongoing relaxation and slowed thought process that inhibits anxiety and other negative feelings. Connecting the breath to the body via yoga also enhances the internal listening process with the body, so your mind is more in tune with your physical needs to stimulate consistent well-being. In addition, regular mindfulness practice is also a healthy way to release built-up emotional energy that tends to calcify and clog our efforts to mental health maintenance. By integrating yoga into your mental health routine, you ensure a regular cleansing that complements your self-care routine utilizing and important tool within your Mental Health Toolbox. Try some of these easy poses to get the blood flowing!!

Brain cardio, grounding techniques and meditation

The beautiful unraveling of life happens in this very moment. Unfortunately, it’s easy for many of us to get entangled in past stress or worries of what lies ahead. The reality of present life moments is robbed by the thief of thoughts, holding our minds prisoners to invisible imaginations. Try to picture life as a tightrope with no net. It’s obvious that one would have to journey through with a carefully balanced, inch-by-inch forward progression to survive, right? Now think, how often are your eyes off the tightrope? How often are your letting the present moment slip away? Is your reality surviving?

To stay on the tightrope mindfulness is the star tool within your Mental Health Toolbox. It is a strategy that peels your identity from your thoughts, as your thoughts can sometimes be an unreliable source in the sphere of mental illness. With mindfulness, rather than be your thoughts, you are above them as their creator and observer. Your higher self goes beyond the mental noise that can sometimes overwhelm your body and soul. An easy way to remind yourself to slow the thoughts is to take a deep, long breath, then follow the next five to ten breaths thereafter. If you do this constantly, you may start noticing how often you actually hold your breath unconsciously when intense anxiety or PTSD thoughts start clouding the mind. Observing the breath helps brings you back to the present moment. Mindfulness and a healthy state of mind go hand in hand.

There are various techniques that promote and preserve this present-moment awareness. They are the basis of yoga and several other Eastern religions and spiritual practices. Grounding is a technique that helps to bring you out of the sea of thoughts and into the present moment reality. These are especially helpful in moments of stressful emotions and feelings. There are several skills you can try and regardless of your diagnostic label, each one has a different level of effectiveness so it’s important to try several before finding your present-moment solution. The great thing about grounding techniques is that they’re so easy they’re almost effortless, yet they work wonderfully by acting as a net to fish you out of the turbulence of thoughts that sweep you from the present.

Meditation, a regular practice of yoga, can be also be practiced independently as part of your mental health routine. It is the practice of focusing your attention on a single point of reference, oftentimes the breath. Some like to focus on a mantra or intention. Ultimately, it is a way to pull your mind out of the stream of thought and observe rather than follow for a set amount of time. This sort of focused mental training helps rewire the brain patterns of entangled thoughts that pull you from the present moment. By training yourself to observe, the mind begins to silence itself from these thoughts and you become present. Once the session is over, your ability to remain focused on the present in real-life becomes easier, and you begin to experience life on the paradigm of the now, as life should be lived. Meditation is a helpful tool for mental health because it not only reduces stress by hushing the mental noise, but such effectiveness has shown it to work against the progression of illnesses like depression and anxiety. Regular meditation practice can actually change your brain’s stress response to promote you’re the effectiveness of your Mental Health Toolbox.

So....what's next?

Now that you’ve been educated and empowered with your very own set of tools, you can take charge in your mental health journey by applying your own personal strategy to evolving into the best version of you. Remember, we're all under construction and need to constantly add new tools to our arsenal. I’d love to hear from you on how you’ve adapted this basic concept and made it your own! Subscribe and like my blog to stay up-to-date on future additions to the Mental Health Toolbox.

~wh

Teen Dating Violence and Mental Health

teen dating awareness

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Happily ever after---or not? It’s easy for our teens to become enamored with an idea that’s been told over and over again during story time and Disney movies for most of their childhood. What isn’t so easy for them, is to recognize that an unhealthy relationship may not quite be the puppy love story they believe. Teen dating violence and the shadows of mental health illness linger among victims as well as abusers.

Many types of abuse

Teen dating violence involves several types of abuse ranging from physical, emotional/psychological or even sexual. It can be delivered to the victim ever so subtly in the form of bullying, humiliation and jealousy, or it can be visibly obvious on their body or through their behaviors. Sadly, abusive relationships among teens is prevalent, occurring in 1 in 10 teens by way of physical or sexual violence. Even more frequent are the moments of verbal or emotional abuse. In other words, there’s a good chance your teen may have friends involved in teen dating violence or worse, be in an abusive relationship themselves.

Such violence, regardless of the degree of severity, negatively impacts overall mental health. When intimacy is confused with violent or abusive behavior, the seed of abuse and mental illness has likely been planted within the victim and most likely the abuser. The cycle will continue unless the problem is recognized and those negative seeds of intimacy are addressed. Ideally, prevention of teen dating violence is the first step, particularly by dealing with underlying mental health issues.

Why does it happen?

There are factors in a potential abuser's behavioral patterns that can increase the likelihood of teen dating violence which include depression, anxiety and other trauma symptoms. Instances of aggression towards others, the use of drugs or alcohol and being sexually active at a young age are also among those circumstances. Parents and peers involved in relationship violence also influence the probability of teen dating violence. And so, this continuous cycle creeps into its surroundings until the recognition and desire to evolve from it arises.

Some of the very same factors affect a potential victim’s risk of getting caught up in teen dating violence, shining light on the need to address depression, anxiety and trauma issues early on before intimate abuse degrades mental health further. If you see any of the signs of mental health illness (such as anxiety or depression) in your children, there are resources and steps you can take to help them evolve from a state of mind vulnerable to teen dating violence.

What can I do as a parent?

Proactively approaching the situation can steer a potential bad situation from ever happening at all. The most effective tool you have in this situation is communication! Next important step is to provide your teen with a safe place to talk with you. It doesn't happen over night but it will happen if you're consistent and patient. Finally, work on empowering your child or teen with problem solving skills. Even though you're the parent and can "demand" your teen stop seeing someone who is abusive, the reality is unless your teen understands why they are in an unhealthy relationship the possibility of them continuing to engage in those behaviors and relationships are very likely. Information is key!!With technology being so prevalent within our culture, many teens experience dating violence through their social media and electronic devices. Again, talk with your teen. When my kids were teens, I advised them that my job was to protect them and if I had a suspicion or concern regarding their electronics and/or social media that I would randomly ask to see their device content. Many might think this is an invasion of privacy, however, if you have the conversation and are forthright with that message then teens know what to expect and will respect the honest between you.

Last but not least...

At the core of this social problem is the quality of mental health among individuals and their families. It’s important to take a deep breath as a parent and know there are resources within reach to address concerns within your teen’s psyche, or even be proactive about maintaining balance. School counselors, social workers, and online education are all support reserves waiting to be tapped to ease the pressures of effective parenting. Learn more!! You’ll become empowered by educating yourself and asking for help! Don’t forget, I’m always available for more conversation if you have a concern. Contact me for your 30-minute complimentary consultation. Take care!

wh

Take back your time!

I don't know about you but I NEVER seem to have enough time. Time to do the things I need to do let alone time to do the things I want to do. Time to clean. Time to rest. Time to work. Time to love. Time to self-care. Did somebody say self-care? Learning to take back your time is self-care! So lets celebrate Take Back Your Time Awareness Week happening now!!

What steals your time away?

take back your time

I've been thinking a lot about that and here's what I've come up with:

To-do Lists

Problem: I'm a believer in lists but huge overwhelming to-do lists are a giant time sucker. I get so lost in the lines of smudged lead, vanishing ink and scraps of paper that I lose track of what I actually need to get done.

Solution: Just have one ongoing things to-do list in a notebook or in an app it doesn't matter but choose only three tasks a day that you're willing to commit to actually getting completed. If you complete those three, then by all means challenge yourself to do more but the feeling of accomplishment will feel great by crossing those three completed tasks off your daily calendar. Take back your time and check this out for some more time-saving ideas!

Anxiety

Problem: We get so lost in the alphabet list of things to get done and no time to do them in frame of mind that the anxiety kicks in!

Solution: I think I talk about this everyday but being mindful and in this present moment is a huge help when feeling overwhelmed and lost in the proverbial shuffle of life. Anxiety is another giant time sucker! Take a second to ground yourself. Next, take a mental note of what you have control over and focus on that specifically. Finally, take back your time and create a plan of action and prioritize needs and wants. Add them to your primary to-do list described above.

Got structure?

Problem:  Lack of structure is a huge time sucker. Time is a commodity that once spent it's gone forever. Many times I look up and see I've utilized and spent hours doing--well I don't really know.

Solution: Many of my friends laugh at me but I put EVERYTHING on my electronic calendar. I like to utilize Google but there's lots out there. If it's on my calendar then it's real and it exists and almost always gets done. Structure is necessary for there to be productivity. This is a good place to schedule your self-care too!! Take back your time and organize your day.

Self-talk

Problem: Looking at life through smudged lenses makes everything morph into unrecognizable shapes that we just can't see for what they truly are. In other words, be realistic!! You're not perfect! I know that's a newsflash but none of us are--so stop trying.

Solution: Stop expecting perfection. It's so simple. My mom in her younger days used to have these fantasies about all of the millions of things she could get done in a single day of 24 hours. She's bipolar and in her mania, would try and conquer the world. Of course she came close lots of times but it came with a great cost (that's another blog) but most of the time she was unsuccessful. She passed that mindset on to me and it's not only been a time sucker but also a huge manifestation of my own anxiety. Know your self-talk and combat it with reasonable expectations. Take back your time and be kind to yourself in the process.

Well that's it!! I encourage you to really begin to analyze what takes your time and how you can get that control back. Empower yourself with self-exploration. Educate yourself with information. Evolve into the best version of you. I’m always available for a 30-minute complimentary consultation to throw some of these ideas around!

Check back later for more information on time and self-care!!

wh

How can I be a Humanitarian?

humanitarian day

Humanitarian Day 2018

Today we're celebrating the life of Martin Luther King, Jr., a humanitarian, who was a great leader, big thinker and overall compassionate human being.A humanitarian is someone who positively promotes the well-being of other human beings. That’s it!! So simple but many of us think of being a humanitarian as someone who does huge memorable activities like Dr. King or goes to foreign countries to help others.But that’s only a small sliver of what being a humanitarian means. Humanitarians recycle. They pick up trash. They build houses. The list goes on and on.In addition, the important thing to remember is we usually find joy in doing things we like to do so it’s important to do some thinking about what makes you happy before you go and volunteer. Things to think about and to ask yourself:

1. Do I want to work directly with people and what age?

2. Do I want to work inside or outside?

3. What do I like to do that makes me feel good about myself?

Matching your likes and skills to specific causes has never been easier. Develop your profile at volunteermatch.org to get started.So, now that you’ve put some though into it. How can you get involved?

Start on a local level!!

You don’t have to go to another country to be a positive impact in the world. Discover what your passions are and start there. Some possible ideas could be animal shelters, community centers or city park and recreation departments. There's even the political arena!! 

What are your skills and how can you transfer them to volunteer for a cause?

Habitat for Humanity is a great example of this concept. People who have specific skills and expertise or know just enough to roll paint on a wall have skills that are greatly needed and can be used for humanitarian purposes. Another possibility is to find a neighborhood garden or a community center that is cooking a holiday dinner for the homeless. Again, the possibilities are endless! 

Get those around you involved!

Whether you're with family and friends or your work colleagues, volunteering in a group is super fun. One of the easiest places to volunteer is Harvester’s. There are many things that a large group can come in an do with little planning or advance notice. Great memories are created when we invest in a great cause. Once you get organized, plan it out and make the call the next step is to just do it!! Volunteering makes you feel good and that helps with stress and anxiety relief. So what are you waiting for? Start planning your humanitarian adventure today!

I’m always available to chat if you’d like to connect. Reach out now for your 30-minute complimentary consultation.

wh

Clear the Clutter, Clear the Mind

clutter

“Out with the Old and In with the New”

is commonly associated with ringing in the New Year.  It's sentiments can be strongly felt shortly after the holiday season, when stress, anxiety and depression can be higher than usual.  Before these feelings explode, work through them by starting with your surroundings; Clear the Clutter, Clear the Mind. Spring cleaning is not quite the same as clearing the clutter, but would serve the same purpose.  However, don’t put off 'til tomorrow, what you can do today to change your physical surroundings right now.  While also airing out the cobwebs of any mental clutter lingering in the back of your mind.

Turn on your favorite song, and turn it up!

We’ve had the holiday parties and sung carols.  We may have even been forced to listen to repeat holiday tunes.  Break out of that funk!  Sing, dance and start to get the vibe.  Then you can release tension thru keeping your beat! Physical activity and music stimulate the brain. By putting a new perspective on your living room, or even office space, you may find it easier to muddle through an uneasy task.  Your outlook may change towards a task you weren't looking forward to doing, or even make that coffee meeting with a new contract client you’ve been aspiring to get a more positive moment.

We have more than physical clutter, but what to do when you have sentimental items versus functional items?

Taking down the tree immediately after the New Year, or sooner will allow the space to be reoccupied or redecorated.  Show off a new item or clean up an existing furniture piece to put in it's place.  The result will freshen your perspective, your day, and uplift your spirits. What about any broken or non-working knick-knacks that don’t match with the rest of your space?  They’re hard to throw out when having a memory or promise to take good care of that item attached to it. Take a picture and make a collage or upload them to a digital frame. You keep the memories but reduce the clutter! You may need to reason, did your great aunts’ sister-in-laws friend hand craft the scarf collecting dust under that stack of books and CDs; if so what is more important, cleaning the dust or the integrity of the scarf?  Let’s state the fact that maybe the stack of books hasn’t been read, and now there is enough dust to plant a tree. Books and music are online and digital now.  This doesn’t dun the importance of the book.  Donating to your local library can save space and others can also benefit from your generosity.  Leaving the scarf to find a new home under your favorite crystal bowl, or tucked into the memory trunk to save for the next generation will clear the dust and spruce up the space.

That’s just one small step to mental health success.

Maybe, while focusing on the scarf, your mind received a boost of endorphin, lifting your emotions to a more positive state sparking inspiration and creativity in other areas of your life, or even just in that room.  Imagine how it will feel to enjoy that room after clearing out what was not functional, and finding a new home in your space for the sentimental?  My favorite sentimental items are photos, and even those can overtake a space.  I’ve begun scanning into digital images, and returning originals of distant family members to their next of kin; what a joy it brings to them, as a result, I find joy in it as well. Doing this may provide positive stimulation in your mind, thus allowing you to have a renewed perspective in problem-solving or life difficulties.  When you start to feel in control of the clutter surrounding yourself, you can jump on the wagon and take control in other areas of your mental health that you might have dead-ended on before.

Don’t stop with the living room!  Make your office or cubicle space into a more inviting area and promote your productivity.

Depending on the situation, this may not be the best place to jam your tunes.  Try wireless earbuds if you have them; or play your favorite song in your mind.  You can be your own personal concert.  Focusing to remember the words, or tapping your heart to the beat.  There’s a concert in you that no one can lower the volume to! Start with post-its; they cover up other clutter that may be hiding on the back corner of your desk.  Organizing your work duties with a calendar or spiral notebook is great.  However, go digital when you can.  You'll have one less thing to clutter your corner of the office floor.  Oh, and of course, empty out that inbox!

There are many things to look forward to in the new year,

Little things like a different spin on an old space can help you take a deep breath and tackle whatever issues you may be facing in life by changing the space where you spend most of your time. Kudos for a job well done.  I’m always available for a 30-minute complimentary consultation to talk about how to move forward so here’s to the New Year, and New Approach with Holistic Mental Health.  Let us together EDUCATE each other, EMPOWER one another, and EVOLVE together!

wh

Holiday gatherings don't have to be stressful!

Holiday gatherings and Stress

Family gatherings can be stressful and I mean to the max! Why is that? We should be looking forward to time with our friends and loved ones to slow down, catch up and be in the moment but sometimes it doesn’t quite happen that way. When I think of family gatherings as a young child the number of plates at the table was low. We had small intimate gatherings with a handful of my mom’s friends that included low maintenance food preparation and lots of laughter. Times were different and not so stressful. It’s not like that anymore. Things are complicated. Families are complicated. Family tradition has been lost. People don’t sit down and eat at the table together anymore! So here's some ideas that will hopefully make your holiday gatherings more enjoyable.

Tips to help!

Be open-minded!! Cultural norms and traditions look different to different people. With multi-cultural families growing, things may look different than what you're used to. What you do may not be what someone else does and vice versa but that's okay! Go with the flow and be open to new dishes, flavors, customs, music and conversation. Relax and be in the moment.

Leave your expectations at the door!! Many times we go into a situation with an already developed expectation of how things are going to play out. Just stop! This goes back to being open-minded. If you go go into an event with the perception that the night is going to be negative and horrible guess what? It will be! So smile and be positive. You may have the time of your life!

If you're hosting-Enlist help! One of the most tiring aspects of get togethers is the preparation. You don't have to do it all yourself!! You can ask others to assist you with the expense, preparation and clean-up but they won't know you need help unless you ask! Plan ahead and delegate. You may even consider investing in a service to help with cleaning your home before and after the big day.

Prepare for the kids! When in public, one of the most annoying and frustrating things is to hear a child whine or cry because a parent didn't plan ahead to keep them content and occupied. Whether you're attending or hosting, make sure you plan for the little people. When my kids were small, I used to carry a playpen and walker in my trunk so I could contain and control where they were at all times so I didn't have to carry them around for the night. Have kid-friendly snacks ready to go as well as plastic flatware to minimize the possibility of breakage. With the slew of electronics available, having entertainment is a no brainer! If you're hosting, carve out space that can be kid-friendly. You could even pay a neighborhood teen to be the designated sitter for a couple of hours. Mom and dad throw the jammies in the bag to change the little ones before heading home so when they fall asleep in the car it's an easy transition to bed.

Be in the moment! Probably the most important thing to remember is to be in the moment and enjoy your time with friends and family. Laugh and smile ALOT. Remember when a large group of different people get together it can get loud and messy. Be patient, be kind and breathe!

Holiday gatherings are stressful by nature but you can control the extent of that stress. Here's some additional tips and suggestions to keep your anxiety at bay. Enjoy your time together and make some memories to last a lifetime. Whatever stress or anxiety you may feel it's important to remember that those feelings are temporary and will pass. You could be anywhere in the world so enjoy the choice you made and eat an extra piece of chocolate pie for me!

I’m always available for a 30-minute complimentary consultation if you’d like to talk.

~~Wendy  

Call for Action!! Walk!!

 T. Morgan and Vanessa Garrison give a heart-felt presentation on Tedx Talks Walking as a Revolutionary Act of Self-Care that all women particularly women of color need to see, hear and implement. Follow them on Facebook and be part of the journey. Where's your Fire? Watch. Share. Repeat.[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xpuZBSclwE[/embed]

Self-Discovery Month!!

“Who in the world am I?Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

So May has been deemed "self-discovery month" which is phenomenal but as I always say..."why do important things just get considered for a day, week or month?" Self-discovery should happen every single day!! It's what keeps us on the straight and narrow. I often work with many of my clients in completing a Personal Mission Statement (PMS) which helps in developing a life direction...whatever that direction may be!! PMS help us to assess if the choices we're making are going to help us achieve our mission of if those choices deter us. It can be something as simple as a word, a phrase or a complete paragraph. It doesn't matter!! As long as you think it through in developing your statement that's all that really matters. A great place to start is completing an inventory of self.

There's lots of good stuff out here on the web to help you get started with your self-discovery. One of the books I've read and keep on hand to utilize with my clients is Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and there's an awesome workbook to accompany the read. There's also a teenage version with workbook as well that I've utilized within a group setting with noticeable results. If you don't like to read, I have some comprehensive exercises that will get you started under the resources tab.

Writing your PMS down makes it real!! If it's just clinking around in your head you're less apt to put it into practice. Talk with those around you that you trust most to get an outside perspective of yourself. Clarify and define who you are by examining your habits, attitudes and beliefs. Don't forget to look at your behaviors as well. We can say all day that we have a specific belief but if we're doing the complete opposite it nulls that belief completely!! So don't allow your life to float around in the wind like a leaf. Take action and write your Personal Mission Statement! I can help you get started! Contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. You’re in control of your mental wellness journey!

Your beliefs become your thoughts! Your thoughts become your words! Your words become your actions! Your actions become your habits! Your habits become your values! Your values become your destiny!

~~Ghandi

Empower, Educate, Evolve

It's a way of thinking!!

Woman-Out-of-Balance

Finding balance in an unbalanced world takes thought and lots of it!! Maybe that's why so many of us are out of balance??!! As a matter of fact it's a mindset and a lifestyle change. It requires courage and grace. My quest for finding balance began about a year ago when I FINALLY began listening to my body. I was totally out of wack!! Irregular sleep patterns, constant stomach issues and skin afflictions popping up everywhere like crazy!! After so many years of not practicing self-care, feeding a major sugar addiction and allowing negative people into my world my body said enough is enough!! So now because of this, I'm working towards regaining my health, harmony and balance. It's tough believe me!! The chronic illnesses I've developed over the years include rheumatoid arthritis, IBD, eczema and shingles. I work hard to manage these on a daily basis. I'm not a believer of traditional Western medicine. I don't see a MD. I don't take prescription medication. I self-educate and utilize holistic and natural remedies. After all social work 101 is to approach everything as a system and our bodies are made up of many intricate systems put in place to keep us functioning but it requires balance. It's a journey I'll be on for the rest of my life but I'm excited and feel empowered!

If you've begun to feel out of balance and have developed chronic illness (this includes mental health), it may be time to start thinking out loud about your life. It's time to start looking at how you think. It's time to start educating yourself and asking questions. A great place to start is completing the Wheel of Life. Get started and get thinking!! If you feel out of balance and need to recalibrate your wellness, please contact me for your complimentary 30-minute consultation. Your in control of your mental wellness journey!!

Finding Balance

I’m three years post graduation and two and half years into my career as a full fledged licensed social worker. Man it’s been a journey from the start of grad school to the point where I am now. I continue to grow as a professional as a woman but most importantly my growth as a human being continues full force. I love what I do. I love empowering and educating other people so they can evolve into the best version of themselves.

I love watching on the sidelines with my invisible pom-poms cheering and screaming as someone has an epiphany that positively alters the course of their life and I literally see the personal evolution in action. It’s exhilarating. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although I’m enjoying this journey, somewhere along the way I lost my balance. You know that pie chart where ideally each slice is basically the same size? Well my career slice has become much larger than my personal slice and that’s a problem!!

I’m not only a social worker but I have other hats to wear that are colorful and adventurous that have somehow been tossed aside like yesterday’s leftovers. I’m a poet. I’m a hot biker chick. I’m an artist. I’m a student.I’m a sister-friend. I’m a traveler. I’m a free spirit that is trapped. I’m in a conundrum of scheduling, paperwork and appointments that has taken over my pie of life like blue mold on cheese. Self-care is essential in the serving industries and I’ve been slacking!! So in an effort to regain my balance, I’ve started this blog to have a place to vent. A place to share my wins and my losses. A place to scream when I’m angry and a place to cry when I’m happy. A place where hopefully other social workers will find solace and companionship when they too are looking for their balance.  I hope you’ll join me in your own journey of finding personal balance!!

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